Let’s rewind the clocks to 1999, when a young Paul Walker starred opposite a slightly younger Freddie Prinze Jr. in the legendary-only-to-people-who-were-14-at-the-time teen comedy “She’s All That.” If you were to bet at the time on which one of these budding actors would still be making ridiculously high-grossing movies a decade and a half later, smart money would’ve been to go with neither. However, if absolutely forced to pick one or the other, most would’ve given the slight edge to the prince of juniors, Prinze Jr.
Of course, we know now that this hypothetical group of gambling addicts would’ve lost that bet. But then, if we learned anything from “She’s All That,” it’s this: Paul Walker will find a way to turn the odds in his favor. Fourteen years after “She’s All That,” Prinze has fallen into relative obscurity, while Walker is still taking Laney to the prom in the form of “The Fast and the Furious” franchise, of which the sixth installment came out last weekend.
The first film (straightforwardly titled “The Fast and the Furious”) came out when I was still in high school. I was too good for movies about race cars back then. After all, there I was – a 6’4” and 50-lb 14-year-old Tool fan, who was made out of pimples and defined by spontaneous erections. How was a movie about something as bourgeois as street racing starring a dude named Vin Diesel and the bad guy from “She’s All That” supposed to appeal to someone as cool as me? And how the hell did it keep producing sequels, each more awkwardly titled than the last?
Thank god I have since dismissed such pretentions, because “Fast & Furious 6” is fucking awesome. No, it’s not a “good” movie. The acting is pretty atrocious, the plot is mundane, and the dialogue is completely flat. But it does feature a tank driving down the highway, crushing hundreds of cars and passengers with no abandon. It also features Dwayne Johnson (you know him as The Rock) as a surprisingly complex and sensitive Diplomatic Security Services agent (jk, he just delivers one-liners and lets his trapezius muscles do the acting, but he does manage to make Vin Diesel look like a hobbit).
Five things stand out to me about “Fast & Furious 6”:
1.Vin Diesel is the best actor in this movie. He won’t be winning any awards that aren’t presented by a Jonas brother, but in a movie featuring a cast of former wrestlers, models, musicians, MMA fighters and the cardboard cutout that is Paul Walker, Diesel puts on the most convincing performance (though Gina Carano certainly has her charms). And that’s something I never thought I’d say.
2. This movie is not in 3D. And thank god for that, because fight the power.
3. This movie (and franchise) has one of the most racially/ethnically diverse casts of any Hollywood blockbuster in recent memory. Let’s do a breakdown (according to EthniCelebs, mostly): Dwayne Johnson (Samoan/African Canadian), Vin Diesel (African American, Italian), Jordana Brewster (Brazilian American), Michelle Rodriguez (Puerto Rican, Dominican), Tyrese Gibson (African American), Ludacris (African American, Native American), Sung Kang (Korean), Gal Gadot (Israeli), Gina Carano (bunch of stuff), Paul Walker (cardboard). This is reassuring to my white guilt, which we’re not supposed to talk about.
4. This movie is not called “6 Fast 6 Furious,” and that’s disappointing. In fact, that they haven’t titled each movie since “2 Fast 2 Furious” this way hurts my soul.
5. I’m super pumped for “Fast & Furious 7.” I should mention that I haven’t seen any of the Fast/Furious movies since the first one. Nevertheless, I was super disappointed by the lack of Tokyo drifting in this one. Apparently “Fast & Furious 6” (along with “Fast & Furious” and “Fast Five”) is a prequel to “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.” This leads me to believe that Tokyo drifting just hadn’t been invented yet in the Fast/Furious parallel universe. But then, in the last scene, we get a taste of some Tokyo drifting, which then leads to an epic reveal that got me so pumped that I kicked a hole through the chest of the person sitting in front of me. I will be watching the seventh installment in prison.