It’s about halfway through summer, and if you’re anything like us, you’ve been to more cousins’ graduations than scenic beaches. We get it, it’s hard to keep up with the scene sometimes.
In this week’s Three Dudes column, we provide our summer status check to catch you up on the music it’s too bad you’ve missed and the music you should be glad you missed.
The Summer Jam (Best of the Billboard 100):
Pete Rizzo: Anna Kendrick – “Cups”
This may be a bit premature, since I just heard this song for the first time as I’m writing this, but I’m sticking to it. Just kidding, we all know this is the summer of Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky,” pretty much indisputably.
Daft Punk are now the Lizard Kings Dave Hurwitz says we’re missing, so big they’re unavoidable, critically adored, strategically mysterious and never far from the conversation. I’m not even that big of a fan, that’s just how it is.
Jake Roeschley: Pete, you sneaky bastard. Now I’m going to be getting Spotify recommendations that sound like Anna Kendrick. But, you know what? I’ve said pretty much everything I have to say about “Get Lucky,” so screw it — we’re doing “Cups.” Like most of Anna Kendrick’s movie performance, this song is about as unremarkable as they come. It doesn’t stir any emotion one way or the other. It’s just there. (Side note: I caught the end of “Pitch Perfect,” from which this song comes, and it seemed like a pretty good bad movie.)
Pete: Yeah, it’s been described as a “phenomenon,” so I’m guessing it’s awful.
Liam Green: Miley Cyrus – “We Can’t Stop”
Let’s get the bad out of the way first. The lyrics to this song are basically dead stupid. Cliches abound – “turnt up,” “only God can judge us,” “shakin’ it like we at the strip club.” It certainly isn’t nearly as clever as the best commercial pop can be.
And…yet…I…can’t…stop…wanting…to…play…this…song. It brings about this sense of pure elation that is the sweet spot of great pop music. A lot of it is the beat by Mike WiLL Made It that I can’t shut up about, which somehow perfectly blends bubblegum and a classic hip-hop sound. A lot of it is the euphoric enthusiasm of Miley’s vocal performance, which makes up for the deficiencies of her voice and adds an odd poignancy to the silly-ass lyrics. “Blurred Lines” has some of the same qualities and was almost my pick, but “We Can’t Stop” is exactly that – unstoppable. It’s our goddamned song. We can sing if we want to.
Also, my lord and savior Yeezus is the only “Lizard King” figure of the 2000s/2010s. That’s just how it is.
Jake: Oh man, this song getting dangerously close to “Call Me Maybe” territory — you know, those songs that you know you’re supposed to hate but you actually love. Not even in a guilty pleasure sort of way, you just legit want to listen to the song all the time.
Jake: Mariah Carey – “#Beautiful (feat. Miguel)”
Not only is this my favorite chart-topper of the summer, it’s also my favorite song ever to use the hashtag gimmick. I guess you could make the case for will.i.am’s “#thatPOWER,” but that would mean you’re making the case for something will.i.am did, and will.i.am has always sucked.
But ill-conceived gimmicks aside, this song is solid through and through and hands down Mariah’s best collaboration since Big Baby Jesus (you know him as Ol’ Dirty Bastard). And it works beautifully as a summer jam – not so much a “let’s get wasted and launch some fireworks” sort of song, but one where you’re just relaxing on a roof deck at night sipping bourbon. Plus, it gives some well-deserved exposure to R&B up-and-comer Miguel. I don’t know if that guy’s a household name just yet, but there’s a reason he was on most top-album lists last year.
Pete: For the record, I had to spell check Ol’ Dirty Bastard, cuz Jake ain’t hip.
Song of the Summer (If We Controlled the Billboard 100):
Pete: Vampire Weekend – “Hannah Hunt”
Sure, the song is slow, so faint you could confuse it for silence at points. But, when it explodes into sand-swept alt-country, man is this song something. Take the way Ezra Koenig sings “You and me, we’ve got our own sense of time.” That’s “you and me” instead of the obvious “you and I.”
I’ve spent most of the summer texting my brother back and forth about this album, and this is the kind of stuff that keeps us geeking out. But, this song provides the peak geek high.
Jake: Congrats, Pete, you finally found a Vampire Weekend song that I enjoy. I know I’m in the minority of hoodie-wearers who don’t care for Ezra Koenig and company, but I have just never understood the appeal. Do they give out free cigarettes at shows or something? Is that how they get them, by starting them young? But, I’ll concede that this is the jam. The ending is downright inspired.
Liam: Travi$ Scott, T.I. and 2 Chainz, “Upper Echelon”
While Pete got in touch with his feelings, I was busy listening over and over again to 2 Chainz shouting, “Just beat that case, call it Larry Holmes/On the plane WIT YOUR BITCH IN THE CARRY-ON!!!!” Just one memorable line in a song full of them, on top of a beat (produced by the multitalented Scott) that blends classic, Atlanta trap (which is not modern trap, remeeember?) with industrial noise.
This is driving-a-bit-too-drunk-in-the-car music. This is break-some-shit-and-fuck-up-a-party music. It enters the proud tradition of murder-soundtrack songs, right up there with Waka Flocka Flame’s “Lurkin,” Gunplay’s “Jump Out” and classics like Gravediggaz’s “Diary of a Madman.” It’s also totally enjoyable as a straight-up summer-night banger. You just don’t want to hear a car blasting it while it slows down near you if you’ve got any enemies.
Pete: Liam, I love how you’re always playing Grand Theft Auto in your head. If you’re going that way it’s Earl Sweatshirt’s “Hive,” because Jesus good God.
Liam: Correction – I’m always watching Training Day and other David Ayer-scripted movies in my head during songs like that. Next post idea: Three Dudes talk about hood movies? Like have you guys SEEN End of Watch???
Jake: Really, Liam? Really? Every time I look at Spotify, you’re listening to Yeezus. In fact, you’re listening to Yeezus as I write this. Here’s a screen cap:
How’re you gonna front and not go with a Kanye song?
Pete: Jake, you are a god.
Liam: Well played, sir. That same day I did listen to “Upper Echelon” at least 7 times, though.
Jake: Autre Ne Veut – “On & On”
I saw Autre Ne Veut live a couple of weeks ago, and, despite a seriously disappointing live show, this guy’s album Anxiety is still a serious contender for my favorite album of the year. “On & On” is more or less a continuation of what we heard on the album — great beats, interesting hooks and the dude’s amazing falsetto. To me, Autre Ne Veut sounds like a DIY Justin Timberlake, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Had Timberlake’s album sounded more like Anxiety, maybe we wouldn’t have all been so disappointed, excluding Liam, of course, because we know he’s all hot on JT.
Pete: I’m Jake and this is some band no one knows.
Liam: IT’S OK, JAKE, I LIKE AUTRE NE VEUT.
Worst Song of the Summer (Song We Heard This Summer We Wish We Could Unhear):
Pete: Lil Wayne – “God Bless Amerika”
OK, so this song is bad, but let’s out into perspective how bad this song is. Allow me to step into Liam diction for a moment – LIL WAYNE FILMED HIMSELF STEPPING ON A FLAG FOR THE VIDEO AND NO ONE CARED. That’s how much no one cares about I Am Not A Human Being 2, or this song.
Some of the lines are just awful: “God bless America / you so godless America “/ “shooting stars in my pocket / sit on my rocket.” On top of that, it sounds like a Lana Del Rey song. I maintain it will only get harder for us to explain Lil Wayne to our children.
Jake: Is Lil Wayne even trying anymore? Or has he just lost it? The dude’s had a rough year, for sure, and I can see the appeal of saying, “All right, I’m just gonna write something super dark and it’ll have to be a hit because people love it when pop artists go dark.” But, this just seems so shallow. You know, like Lana Del Rey.
Liam: Lil’ Wayne from 2009 on can go fuck himself and hug an octopus, minor exception being his appearance on “Pop That” because…well because “Pop That.” It is its own argument.
Liam: Imagine Dragons, “Radioactive”
I continue to be completely fucking unable to understand why this song exists, or is popular, or even what like, boardroom meeting dreamed up this dude-rock/brostep-lite hybrid. But people LIKE IT. “MOM, THEY REALLY LIKE IT!!!” Which just makes me want to say, “HEY MIKEY/AMERICAN LISTENING PUBLIC?! FUCK YOU!” Life cereal jokes are still relevant, right?
Don’t you see what this is doing to my brain? Turgid, meaningless lyrics, an obvious and thoroughly bloated sense of self-importance in the sound and atmosphere, an overwrought by-the-numbers frontman and overproduced compressed bullshit…ah, goddamnit. Well, good luck with the inevitable slide into irrelevance, Imagine Dragons members. Remember The Fray? They were huge once too. Fuck it, I’m out. It’s been a weird summer.
Jake: Two words, my friend: Lebron balls.
Jake: Robin Thicke, T.I. and Pharrell – “Blurred Lines”
I probably don’t hate this song as much as I think. Uh, yeah, that sentence makes sense. What I mean is, if this song wasn’t so damn popular, so overplayed, I could probably tolerate it’s existence. But it is so damn popular and so overplayed, and every time I hear that damn “*click* *click* *click* Woo!” I want to have strong words with whoever’s responsible for playing it — whether it’s at a bar, the office or even the supermarket.
And yes, this song is played in all those places and more. You can’t escape it. My only hope is that Robin Thicke can’t escape it either, so when he’s playing shows 20 years from now and people are going apeshit for “Blurred Lines,” he wants to scream and pry off his fingernails. Only then will I feel vindicated for being subjected to “Blurred Lines” this summer.
Liam: Not even the cowbell could do it for you? Strange times, y’all.
Jake: I’ll just say it. The cowbell is played out.